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Channel: It's True Because It's Funny » Scenes From My Life
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“My Conversation with God — June 16th, 2011”

INT. APARTMENT – JOSH’S BEDROOM – NIGHT JOSH (25, lanky, mostly defeated) sits at his computer, typing and eating cereal.  His cell RINGS. Josh: “Hello?” Voice: (V.O.) “Hey, is this Josh?” Josh: “Yeah,...

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“Sixth Time’s a Charm”

INT. UNIDENTIFIED ROOM – DAY JOSH LEHRMAN (18, scrawny) sits in an uncomfortable-looking chair with his head in his hands.  His leg bounces up and down. SUSAN LEHRMAN (late 40s, warm) sits beside him....

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“Stupid in School”

INT. KINDERGARTEN CLASSROOM – DAY JOSH (six years old, awkward) dunks his hand in a can of paint, then slams a handprint onto the center of the blank canvas in front of him. Josh: “Done.” {to an...

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“God/Santa”

INT. HOME – NIGHT JOSH (7, uncharacteristically happy) adds ornaments to his family’s Hanukkah bush/Christmas tree.  SUSAN (37, motherly) enters to find her son humming. Josh: “Hey Mom, you think...

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“The Most Memorable Moment from High School Band Class”

INT. BAND ROOM – DAY A TUBA PLAYER (15) stands around a group of high school band members, holding his instrument. Tuba Player: “Hey guys, you wanna see me turn purple?” Everyone: “No.” The Tuba Player...

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“Dick Pills”

I went to Kaiser Permanente the other day to pick up some dick pills — ‘cause I’m on anti-depressants and can’t get hard anymore.  (Seems like a pretty bad side effect for a pill that’s supposed to...

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“Raising Awareness”

I saw this girl outside of Trader Joe’s with a shirt that read – “NEARLY ONE BILLION PEOPLE DON’T HAVE CLEAN WATER RIGHT NOW” This was our conversation – Josh: “All right, so what do I do?” Liberal...

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“Scene in a Bookstore”

INT. BOOKSTORE – DAY JOSH (26, neurotic) walks up to an EMPLOYEE (20s, female). Josh: “Excuse me, I’m looking for a book on anger management.” Employee: “Good for you, sir.  The first step to recovery...

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“Meditation Exercise”

When I was younger, my mom took classes to become certified in some kind of meditative spiritual practice. It’s one of those things that I put down but nevertheless asked my mom to try on me just in...

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“This Just Happened”

I’m in my office at work.  The sassy black receptionist (DONNA) just opened the door… Donna: “I didn’t know you was in here.  I woulda knocked.” Josh: “Seriously.  I could’ve been jacking it.” Donna:...

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“The Roofie Conversation”

One of my female friends just asked me if she could come over to my apartment and roofie herself.  The conversation proceeded like this – Josh: “What?!  No!” Female friend: “Why not?  I just want to...

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